Unbeaten Lightcliffe’s 3rd XI, made it 3 from 3 in the Cup, in a game they dominated against their lower Division opponents from the start.

James Godden produced the original breakthrough assisted by a sharp gully catch by the ever grey-green Bruce Lunn. Sam Kalanovic however was the pick of the pack, producing possibly his best display for the seniors, as the Greetland batting attempted to play the right shots, but (to paraphrase Eric Morecambe) not necessarily to the correct ball. His return of 7-4-8-2 would have been even better, had Tom Denham not managed to dive over a couple efforts, later blaming “loose studs” for the resulting gymnastic display.

Marcus Kelly was given some gentle catching practice from his own bowling and Mark Whiley generated bounce to allow Regan Broadbent to celebrate his last day as a 12-year-old, with his first senior victim behind the stumps.

With Greetland marooned in mid-forties doldrums, it allowed resident MCC rulebook expert Professor Colin Saunders to clarify aspects of extras generated from cricketing headwear, to an enthralled double-gully cordon. This, seconds before umpire Brian “Three Hats” Powe’s gamble with a strong breeze resulted in an ungainly chase towards the boundary. “If only it had been a pie” opined Oliver Hemingway, who later cruelly subjected the earthworms on the bottom boundary to some late innings headaches, arising from his Dambuster-esque barrel-roll fielding display.

Such frippery was trumped once more by Kalanovic whose run and throw from behind the bowling end produced an excellent run-out. Unable to control his excitement, Lightcliffe’s testament to youth instantly raced off to the club’s toilets “for a tissue”. In an effort to clarify the specific nature of the bodily fluids absorbed by the aforementioned hygiene product, Sam spent the rest of the innings with a piece dangling inelegantly from his left nostril.

Meanwhile a late innings cameo from a middle order batsman with a unique “pick-axe handle” batting grip, trashed Mark Whiley’s otherwise tight bowling stats. Frustrated, Whiley’s wrath fell on Kevin Booth, who came in for chastisement, after failing to cover the 60 yards from Long On (amid pleasant Brooke-like banter from the home contingent)to mid wicket in less than the requisite 3 seconds. Mick Wood managed to deny himself a bowl with a run out, to allow an early tea break.

Wind and eventual fine weather transformed the pitch into a benign practice strip, which meant the Lightcliffe batting had little to test them, requiring only 19 overs to achieve their target of 97. The main threat came from Prof Saunders (26no). An uncharacteristic straight drive was touched on the stumps by the bowler; Lunn, backing up, was forced to depart for 18. “It’s ironic, I had just explained this very aspect of the run-out rule to (son) James not an hour before the game”. reflected the Club Secretary. “If he asks about the Handled-the-Ball rule next week, he’s in for a thick ear ”.